Journeywoman

Still here

Yes.  I'm alive.

No, I don't really want to talk about it. 

Everything is coming together except it isn't  and I need to take a bloggy break. 

See you in July. 

With luck I'll be a homeowner by then.

Up--Killing me softly

Just came back from seeing Up--Pixar's latest movie. 

For those who read stuff about the movie, you'll know that the reviews have been amazing.  They have all waxed poetic about a four minute interlude where you meet the character of Carl and that of his wife, Ellie. 

It is beautiful.  

It hit me like a sucker punch--even though I knew it was coming.  You saw it.  They couldn't have kids.  

I bless Pixar for showing in 2 minutes all the emotion I've been dealing with for 8 years. 

I hate Pixar because they put my emotion out there.  I felt like there was a huge spotlight on me, as the tears rolled down my face and D's hand came to mine.  

I felt they found my letters and read each one out loud....

And what am I doing now?  Blogging this.  Makes a ton of sense.

That being said, I am grateful that they showed a vibrant woman who loved and didn't have children.  I'm grateful they had a biracial, fat kid who was a joke only because he was a kid.   Not because of the other adjectives.  I recommend the movie. 

Thirteen reasons I am for gay marriage

You all heard the news about Prop 8.  A mixed bag.  The couples who are married can stay married but no more gay and lesbians are allowed to get married in California.  

I'm a straight (for the most part) woman married to a straight (for the most part) man.  Here are my reasons that I support gay marriage. 

1) Misery loves company. 

While the words are kind of jocular, I mean it.  People who are in longstanding committed relationships are able to help others in those same kind of relationships.  I have friends in MA who are married and the things we talk about, how even after all these years our spouse STILL can do things to drive us to drink--it helps.  It doesn't matter that her spouse is the same gender as she is, as I am--it helps to talk about it and get new perspectives. 

2) It brings wealth.

Prior to Prop 8 the wedding business in CA was huge.  Now they are severely broke.  Would it have happened anyway?  Yes, probably.  But not as fast. 

3) What Gd has joined together let no man put asunder. 

Nowhere in that does it mention the genders of "what Gd has joined"

4) Whatever happens in the privacy of the bedroom between two CONSENTING ADULTS is fine by me. 

For those who say that gay marriage is some kind of gateway drug for polygamy I say--so what?  As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult I have no problem with it. 

5) Civil Unions just don't cut it. 

For everyone who says "Why don't you just accept civil unions?"  Ask yourself if you would?  Separate is not equal. 

6) Love should be allowed to triumph, no matter what. 

7) Unless you're a hasidic Jew, don't you dare use the bible to justify bigotry. 

Yes, homosexual conduct is frowned upon in the bible.  Guess what?  So is eating a cheeseburger!  So is eating shrimp!  So is working on the Sabbath--hell one of the 10 commandments is about that!  Unless you do EVERYTHING that's in the bible, don't pick and choose.  Any Hasidim feel free to email me with a discussion. 

8) Why is Gd involved anyway?

In this country there is separation of Church and State that means that no church is forced to marry people.  People of two different religions can't get married in some churches.  The state has no right to tell anyone they can't get married. 

9) Not everyone's family looks alike.

I went to look up some of the arguments against gay marriage and one of them was "I don't want to explain to my kids about gays and lesbos." OH POOR BABY!  I don't want to explain to my kids (when I have them) about bigots either.

10) Because we decide who to trust in an emergency

If I am injured and in a diminished capacity to make medical decisions for my own welfare my husband will make them for me.  He knows my thoughts on extraordinary measures and the like.  I trust him with this.  For people who are not married, they don't have this automatic medical process and nothing else can bring it to them. 

11) Health insurance

Unless you work for a progressive company, only spouses can have someone under their insurance. 

12) Because this is disgusting.  No one should be kept from their dying loved one's side.  No one. 

13) Because the state can't legislate love. 

For other Thursday Thirteens go here. 

Boxes packed=2

So.

This weekend we did not see my mother in law.  This weekend we did not go away.  We were supposed to start packing this weekend and by-Gd we...

did.  

kinda

sorta.

Well we have 2 boxes of books packed. 

And we went through a hell of a lot of stuff.  We now have piles.  Piles of books to be given away.  Piles of stuff that needs to be shredded.  Piles of magazines that need to be recycled.  Piles of "tax stuff" that needs to be saved because we might need it. 

No wonder the Britishism for constipation is piles because our packing is constipated by the fact of "do we keep this or do we toss it?"    Oh and a lot of "OH THAT'S where that went!"

Among the stuff in that pile is pictures--including one of me and Jim Steinman.  

I wonder how I've accumulated so much junk in 5 years. 

We have a mortgage--or we will.  

I'm scared and so looking forward to taking this step all at the same time.  

Thirteen people more talented than ANY American Idol

So another season of American Idol has ended.  And there are people thinking that one man has been robbed.  

Personally, I think America has been robbed.  

They only look at the young and the beautiful.  If anyone saw Susan Boyle--they know that those two don't always go together.  Sometimes they do, and sometimes people become attractive to others because of their talent.  

Anyway here is my list of thirteen people more talented than any American Idol.  I'm certain  you know who my first four will be. 

1) John Lennon

2) Paul McCartney

3) George Harrison

4) Ringo Starr

Yes, The Beatles (the whole) were far greater than the sum of their parts, but let's not for a moment forget how great each one of those parts were and are. 

5) Madonna

I'm not going into how I feel about her international adoption.  This is just how I feel about her as a performer and how I felt about her when I was a teenager. Yes I had the rubber bracelets.  I looked up to her then, and a part of me still does. 

6) Paul Simon

More talent in his one little finger than anyone in the American Idol Competition--EVER.  Created harmonies so beautiful it makes you catch your breath.

7) Freddie Mercury

He said it.  WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU  and he did!  He really did!

8) Elton John

Take a listen to the song I linked to.  One of my favorites.  A love song that never says the word love.  Your Song is the same.  

9) Billy Joel

It's written.  If you're raised on Long Island you have to love Billy Joel.  

10) Dar Williams

Never heard of her?  Click on the link.  She's a brilliant singer/songwriter the kind the major labels don't like. 

11) Aretha Franklin

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...you know the rest

12) Pat Benatar

My husband loves her.  So do I

13) Meat Loaf singing Jim Steinman's songs...

I leave you with that.

Who are your favorites?

More Thursday Thirteens Here

RICSI Dinner--first experiments

Okay.  

So thanks be to you wonderful folk with suggestions.  Keep them coming!  

I will be testing different things to see if they freeze well.  Tonight it was chicken fingers.  Thanks be to Celia--she suggested using potato flakes as a breading. 

This is how they came out. 

I marinated them in a mixture of hidden valley ranch and milk.  I then dredged them in potato flakes and sauteed them.  They came out quite yummy.  I am freezing one to see how that works. 

I also dredged some chicken cutlets in parmesan cheese.  They didn't look as good.  They tasted amazing, but I don't think they will freeze well. 

I need to freeze some of this so I'm not going totally insane on the day of the RICSI dinner.  So far I have the potato flake chicken that will work.  Also Hidden Valley Ranch mix has no pepper--I did not know that before.  

The RICSI Dinner

Yes, I know, 2 posts in one day WHOOO.

I wanted to introduce a topic  that I plan to blog about. 

It is my parents anniversary dinner.  I am calling it the RICSI dinner

My parents have been married for 60 years as of June 19.  Sweet, huh?

For various reasons they are not going out to eat on their anniversary dinner, I'm making it.  I'm inviting the people who are closest to my parents who were at their wedding to my apartment.  

I will be in the process of packing to move to our new home. (Hopefully--we haven't yet heard about the mortgage.)

There will be 13 at dinner.  

And here comes the fun part.  The allergies.

1--Cousin M has a gluten allergy. 

2--Uncle J is allergic to black pepper and raw onions of any kind.

3--Aunt V has a garlic allergy.

4--Brother (mine) is allergic to nuts, lemon, tomato, seafood and chocolate.

5--I'm allergic to nuts, seafood, and tomatoes.

6--My father is highly allergic to seafood

7--My mother is allergic to raw berries (cooked are ok) and eggs alone (baked are okay, but pancakes and crepes are iffy and fritatta and quiche are right out)

I have to find several dishes to serve.  I will try new things.  I will reconfigure old things.  I will be tearing my hair out--wanna come along for the ride?

Oh, yeah.  Why is it called the RICSI dinner you ask?

That's simple.  

I have to cook for all these people. 

Robert Irvine Can Suck It!

Help, suggestions, cheering--VERY appreciated. 

Graduation, getting through

So my youngest niece graduated from High school.  

Out of curiosity why do we do this?  We make them dress up and sit on a stage and everyone can say yay.   But seriously, why the ceremony?  Why the fricking speeches?  They are not listening.  Really they are not.  The parents and loved ones are not listening.  They just want a chance to cheer on their progeny.  So why do we make such a big thing out of it. 

This isn't to say I'm not proud of my niece.  I am, very much so.  She graduated 10th in her class and she had to work harder at it (Dyslexia.)  But seriously, these are hours that she's never getting back.  I remember nothing of my high school graduation.  

That being said, she had a teacher that gave her a cool assignment.  While in 9th grade, she had to write a letter to her senior self.  It was a chatty letter, like she is, and she talked about "the aunt of all coolness"---that's ME!!!

Okay so I liked SOME part of her graduation ceremony. 

*     *    *

I watched my sister-in-law and saw that she is getting better.  She and my brother are getting better.  She's had such a hard time since the death of her mom.  It really broke something inside her. But she's getting better.  Getting through.  

I am too.  At my nieces graduation I was wondering how I would survive if these children were the only ones I had an impact on.  I was very depressed.

I got through.   I don't know where I'm going from here, but I'm getting through.  

Thirteen more women who made a difference without being a mom

Wow, is it mothers day again?

Oh yeah, and I'm still not a mom. 

So here again are thirteen more women who have made a difference without being a mom.  This time I decided to go for pop culture because mommydom is SO huge, I think it is pretty impressive that they have bucked the trend.  

Rachel Maddow

I love this woman.  I really do.  And she's not a mom.  

Rachael Ray

Also not a mom.  She actually took a lot of flack for saying publicly in People Magazine that she didn't want to become one.  People called her selfish.  

Helen Gurley Brown

Author of Sex and the Single Girl, then bringing Cosmopolitan to a national spotlight as its editor in chief.  She has no children.

Jennifer Aniston

I should note that I don't think that she is childless by choice, that being said she manages to remain friends with Courtney Cox (no pun intended) who did have kids.  She also deals with being tabloid fodder with a hell of a lot of grace.

Betty White

While we just lost my favorite Golden Girl, (wind to thy wings Bea Arthur), Betty White's Rose Nyland's innocence and sweetness was just so beautiful.  I often want to buy a pair of her glasses. 

Daryl Hannah

I am a Quentin Tarrentino Fanatic (a man who also does not have kids).  I always thought that not enough fuss was made by Daryl Hannah's brilliant portrayal of a cold hearted killer in Kill Bill.  I've liked this actress since Tom Hanks fell in love with her in Splash.  

Stockard Channing

There are ironies abound in the fact that she was Grease's poster child for teen pregnancy and yet Stockard Channing is not a mom.  That being said, she was an Amazing First Lady on The West Wing and she's now nominated for a Tony award for Pal Joe

Helen Mirren

Not only does she not have kids but she has often said "I have no maternal instinct whatsoever."

Bonnie Raitt

Brilliant entertainer.  Wow, she has something to talk about without having kids!  There are friends of mine who I swear would have nothing to talk about besides them.

Ginger Rogers

She did everything Fred Astaire did, backwards and in high heels.  And she didn't have kids.  

Bernadette Peters

Truly one of my favorite broadway actresses.  Seeing her perform, hearing her sing, is just amazing.  She married her true love in 1996, barely a month after I married mine.  Her husband died in a helecopter crash less than 10 years later.  I felt so terrible for her.  She's a strong strong lady, to pick herself up afterwards.  

Lily Tomlin

An actress who just gets better with age.  I loved her in All of Me and 9 to 5.

Mae West

Feminist, Actress, Screenwriter--She once remarked famously that Hollywood had a problem with her--not the other way around.  She showed the boys that she could do it better.  She was a huge sex symbol and did so without being a mom.  

For the mothers, I wish you a happy mothers day. 
For those who have lost their mothers--I wish you comfort
For those who are hoping to become mothers--I wish you luck and speed on your journey
For those who are childless (not by choice)-- I wish you comfort and the knowledge you are not alone.
For those who are childfree by choice--You Go Girls! You made a decision to swim against the stream--go you!

I end this with a hope. 
That next mother's day will have all the women who want to be mothers--as mothers. 
That all mothers will hold their children tightly. 
That all adult children will reconcile with their mothers if it is possible to do so.
That all child-free women are made to feel empowered instead of ashamed. 
And that the great mother of us all will grant us all peace.

"There are no great things, only small things with great love"--Mother Teresa (another woman who was never a mom!)

See other great Thursday Thirteens HERE.  

Thirteen things going on in my life right now

I have been a bad blogger.   A Very bad blogger.  

I will try to be a better blogger. 

Here are 13 things going on in my life right now.  

1) EVERYONE is pregnant.  Seriously.  My facebook page is a bunch of ultrasound pictures.  This combined with the approaching mothers day has gotten me really down.   I don't blog much when I'm really down--only mostly down.   And as everyone knows mostly down is slightly up.  (Mostly dead is slightly alive...)

2) I just came back from California.  It was the first time in thirteen years that I've traveled without my sweetie.  Why did I go to California?

3) My Aunt and Uncle celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary.    There is something truly beautiful when an 89 year old man raises his glass and says "To my wife, the belle of Queens College.  How is it that I've grown so old but you're just as young and beautiful as the first day I saw you?"

4) While in California I met up with one of my favorite bloggers.  Michelle and her husband Joe.  It was so amazing to meet   her in person.  Sometimes people are less cool than they are on the blog--No no not the case here!  I only wish they could move California a bit closer to New Jersey!

5) The house is out of the negotiations period and we're trying to get our mortgage.  We're sending all the paperwork on.  I'm wondering when I should begin to pack. 

6) I've been reading  up a storm lately.  I have read 7 books in the past 2 weeks.  That's a book every other day.  Most have been really good.  

7) I've been planning for my parents 60th wedding anniversary.  Right now I'm going to be cooking them a first class dinner and then the next day we're going to a Broadway show and a dinner out.  Two days later they are taking the barking mess that is my family to London!  Whoo Hooo!

8) Londoners reading this--I need really nice restaurants in London!  Help!

9) I'm trying to be indispensable at work.  

10) I'm trying to not think about Mothers Day because it depresses me. 

11) Dave's tooth is better.  He had the root canal and while that was not fun, he is much better.  Except right now he has a migraine.

12) Damn media.  All I could think was OH NO, SWINE FLU!!!

13) That being said, I wish that someone would acknowledge how truly amazingly well the CDC is doing its job.  They are our first line of defense against this and they are working so very hard to keep us safe.  For people who want unvarnished truth instead of the media panic, here is their website.

What's going on with you?

Stay safe and healthy