Thursday Thirteen--manners anyone?

I'm in a grumpy mood today because a lot of people seem to be more obnoxious than usual. (In New York....NOoooooo) So here are 13 breeches of manners that can really get to me.

1) Young people not giving up a seat for the elderly.
I don't care HOW tired you are. I don't care if the old woman or man is the biggest asshole ever to walk. Elderly people deserve a seat--end of story. This can drive me to confront strangers.

2) Not responding to "Good Morning."
One of my old bosses was the queen of this. I would say Good Morning every day and she would look through me as if I wasn't there. If it was one or two days I'd say, "okay, bad mood." But it was EVERY day...and she'd look at me like I was dirt. This leads me to...

3) Treating assistants poorly.
This really bothers me. There's no excuse for it.

4) Snobby sales people
Think the great scene in Pretty Woman. My father had a VERY rich client who would go suit shopping in his painting clothes. If the salespeople were rude to him he'd get the manager.

5) Waitresses who do things "for my own good"
I'm fat. I'm working on not being fat, but right now I'm fat. I can't begin to count the wait staff who gave me Diet soda when I asked for regular.

6) People having loud and EXTREMELY personal conversations on cell phones while on trains.
Note to EVERYONE, just because you are on a cell phone, does not mean you are alone or in a phone booth. Just two days ago a woman on the train was yelling at her (boyfriend? husband?) and screaming "Oh yeah? Well you have a little bitty penis AND you don't know how to use it!" She had the nerve to be insulted that the people on the train started to giggle.

7) People on cell phones in restaurants
Huge pet peeve of mine. I hate to watch people sitting next to someone who is chatting happily on the phone. I just feel so sorry for the person not on the phone...they always look lonely.

8) Parents who bring babies/infants/toddlers to ritzy restaurants
Unless you have a child who should be cloned, you do not know for a fact that the kid won't have a meltdown. I don't care if you can afford the $100 a plate for your kid--who will loudly complain that it isn't chicken nuggets--People go to these places to get away from their kids--and yours! If you can afford the $100 a plate, you can also afford the babysitter.

9) Parents who bring babies/infants/toddlers to R rated movies
When D and I went to see The Matrix Reloaded this couple had two kids with them. One was less than a year, the other was four. They started screaming and didn't stop. It was cruel to the kids, who shouldn't be seeing that level of violence, and damn inconsiderate to everyone else in the crowded theater.

10) Christians who Jesus would have slapped across the face.
I am not Christian, but I have friends who are. They try very hard to live a life that Christ would approve of. My MIL talks about when she went to see Passion of the Christ and there was a four year old in the theater. Every time Christ was beaten the mother turned to the kid and said "See? See what he went through because you're a bad boy??? See what you made him suffer?" My MIL cornered her after the movie and said "How DARE you call yourself a Christian!" I was very proud of her that day.

11) Parents who abdicate parenthood in restaurants
You've all seen it. Parents deep in adult conversation, children running up and down the restaurant screaming at the top of their lungs. If the wait staff DARES say anything they act as if the wait staff is being paid to babysit.

12) People who talk to you while listening to their iPod
Yo! If you have music going in your ears, you cannot hear what I am saying. Turn it off, take off the damn earplugs and connect with someone face to face.

13) People who check their work email on vacation
But Journeywoman, you say, these are people who are dedicated to their jobs. To that I say there is a difference between having a job and having a life. Unless you are a doctor with a patient who will die or be in horrific pain, you need to stop with the workaholism. Also you make it look bad for the people who don't. Go, have a vacation and be with your family, work will keep.

What are your pet peeves?

Comments

[Lynn]

I agree with all your 13! I'm a little guilty on #13 but I'm moving on, if it's vacation, then it will be a vacation. :)

[emma porter]

Argh @ #12, the current bane of my existence.

Never buy a 12 yr old an iPod. I suppose I brought this on myself, but it drives me nuts.

[Naeva - Mom of 2]

I agree with you on #9...

[Nicholas]

I agree with you on all of them! Why do cinemas even allow people to bring their grubs into R rated films? When I was an employer I remember a man insisted on wearing his Walkman (ancestor of the iPod) during a job interview. What's more he sent an angry letter when he didn't get the job!

[Susan Helene Gottfried]

Nicely written list! One of my pet peeves is people who leave their cars idling when they go to pick up their kids at preschool. More than once, I've been tempted to reach in and shut off their engine -- don't they realize that the air pollution they are creating is making it hard for some of us to breathe? (not to mention wasting gas)

Happy TT! Nice to see you at West of Mars today!

[Aimee]

I am SO with you on anything cell phone related. We don't even own a cell phone, so we probably are anti-cell more than the average person. It makes me insane when people have a conversation for the world to hear. Also, I am a teacher and there are countless teachers at my school who have theirs ring while kids are in the room, and one lady answers hers during staff meetings. Arg.

I also can't stand people who don't use their turn signal, babies in movies, people who get into the fast lane then drive slow, and telemarketers in general.

[Julie]

Great list! What drives me nuts these days is just the general thoughtlessness that abounds. I live in a large city and it seems at every turn there's someone to drive me crazy. I love all these people who don't seem to think that whatever posted rule applies to THEM and the people who seem to think that places of business open JUST FOR THEM and therefore, they can block aisles, doorways, parking lots, etc. because, hey, it's all about them!!lol Can you tell I'm grumpy today??lol BTW, totally love your blog!

Julie

[Julie]

Great list! What drives me nuts these days is just the general thoughtlessness that abounds. I live in a large city and it seems at every turn there's someone to drive me crazy. I love all these people who don't seem to think that whatever posted rule applies to THEM and the people who seem to think that places of business open JUST FOR THEM and therefore, they can block aisles, doorways, parking lots, etc. because, hey, it's all about them!!lol Can you tell I'm grumpy today??lol BTW, totally love your blog!

Julie

[Angela Giles Klocke]

Ahhh...yup! I'm with you on #10!

[Project Ni Hao]

Geez, you already named all of mine. Although, number 13? Guilty as charged. I'll substitute in people (kids) that drive by at 11:00 p.m. with the car stereo so loud my wall shake.

[Dane Bramage]

The problem today is that most people think far too highly of themselves and therefore feel they can do whatever whenever without regard to other people. GET OVER YOURSELVES PEOPLE! Miss Manners shoould be mandatory reading. My Thursday 13 #42 A 13 Point Comparison of Colorado and Ohio is up. Stop by if you get a chance.

[homemom3]

parents that allow their children to roam their vehicles while they are driving down the road.

people that have LARGE dogs in the back end of their trucks and let their dogs roam. Leash them or something man, they are going to fall out. Worse they are going to fall out and hit me.

Kids running around in a movie theater. Teach them to respect others man.

I must admit though my kids have went with us to every restaurant but they've been raised up with them.

making out in public. It's okay to kiss and stuff, but make it quick people. I don't want to watch the next level in front of me. Ewwww!

The worse one: Ma'am you can't feed your baby in here. (yes I breastfeed)

[Lauren Dane]

There was a guy in The Two Towers with three kids under six! I have kids, I don't take them to movies where people get beheaded. I don't understand it.

[Anna J. Evans]

My biggest peeve when I lived in NYC were the men who would blatantly reach up my skirt on the street. All kinds of men, rich, poor, American, foreign. Like it was their RIGHT because I was wearing a skirt that didn't quite touch my knees. I slapped one once, near the end of my time there, just chased him down and beat him over the head with my copy of Backstage, lol. It was...cathartic.

yeah, and I don't take my kids anywhere, why subject the rest of humanity to the terror RFLMAO! kidding, mostly....

But seriously, my 8 year old has nightmares from the movies her bio mom allows her to see on her weekends over there. Mature material can really screw kids up. I say let them watch Sesame Street for as long as possible.

Great list!

Anna J. Evans

[Anna J. Evans]

My biggest peeve when I lived in NYC were the men who would blatantly reach up my skirt on the street. All kinds of men, rich, poor, American, foreign. Like it was their RIGHT because I was wearing a skirt that didn't quite touch my knees. I slapped one once, near the end of my time there, just chased him down and beat him over the head with my copy of Backstage, lol. It was...cathartic.

yeah, and I don't take my kids anywhere, why subject the rest of humanity to the terror RFLMAO! kidding, mostly....

But seriously, my 8 year old has nightmares from the movies her bio mom allows her to see on her weekends over there. Mature material can really screw kids up. I say let them watch Sesame Street for as long as possible.

Great list!

Anna J. Evans

[Lori]

Great list....and some of those REALLY piss me off. The Good morning one, for instance....how hard is it to say it back to someone?? I wanna say..."Who pissed in your oatmeal this morning...sorry I bothered." But, we should say it anyway....

[dew]

These are all so rude, but numbers 1, 9 and 10 are special pet peeves of mine.

Though as far as #1 is concerned, I've actually had elderly people get OFFENDED when I offer them my seat! That's ok, though, I'm still going to be polite even if it might get me a rude response.

[Jennifer]

I loved this! I agree with you on all points. This actually reminded me about a past T13 I wrote about hellion children.

http://mercysnumber1fan.blogspot.com/2007/02/13-places-your-little-hellion-child.html

[trixieintransit]

This is a TERRIFIC list!

With #1, I might add not giving a seat to pregnant women or injured people. I have watched people teeter on wobbly legs, canes and with bad balance because a 30 year old in high heels won't give up her seat.

With #2, I started a campaign against one Director at our office who is always in a funk. She is in a really bad mood ALWAYS and it brings everyone down. So I started in January to just smile and say HELLO to her all the time. She is thawing. Six months into it.

With #3, I went to a conference last week and they discussed how managers (CEOs, COOs, etc)are often embarassed to admit that some people, some positions have true value BECAUSE they make our lives easier...not because they necessarily add to the bottomline. There should be no shame in thanking people for giving SERVICE. There is value in being of service.

I could go on and on...Thanks reminding me that I am not the only one who feels this way!

[Sophisticated Writer]

I agree with you on all these things in fact. My worst pet peeves would be # 2, 3, 7, 8 and 9.

[Sparky Duck]

sounds like you work at the same place Mrs Duck does. Not exactly gonna build up the love for your boss will it?

[TS]

I agree with most of these, though I feel bad because sometimes I talk to people when I still have my MP3 headphones in my ears. The music's off but I can hear with the buds still in there so I don't even bother.

I am guilty of #13 though. It's one part nervousness that something is going down that I should be prepared for and one part curiousness to see if I'm missing anything exciting. Though I don't respond when I'm on vacation, so I guess that helps a little.

Also, I should mention that I've been the lonely person in the restaurant. I have one friend in particular who cannot help but pick up her phone and answer it when it rings. She always says "I'm sorry I have to get this" but it's never a good reason. I don't care if it is mom, dad, or a friend you are having a fight with...call them back. It's ALL the time and she gets calls or texts CONSTANTLY and CONSECUTIVELY. So it'll happen more than once within a 10 minute timespan. But the one time I said something I was made out to be ridiculous. Ugh! People tick me off too. BLAH!

[Tina]

What a great list. #2,5,6,7,8,10,11 are my favorites, but they are all great.
Have a great weekend!
Tina

[Laughing Muse]

You know, though, on that last one, my corporate work habits did not "look pretty" - yet I got more accomplished than many of my co-workers. I came in at 8 and left at 5. They were there until 8 or 9 each night...but didn't get there until nearly noon. It was all smoke and mirrors, so that their bosses would assume that they worked 12- and 13-hour days. And so many of them now have ulcers, and I'm working from home, have a low stress level, and am pretty happy overall. (Or could that just be the Vicodin kicking in..?) :D

[isabel]

People who tell me how to dress, do my hair, or what I 'really need'. A) I'm a grown up, and B) I'm too polite to tell them how rude they are.