Going forth in spite of fear

Okay I really did promise that I would do better with the posting.  I'm working on it, honest. 

One other thing I'm working on is renewing our homestudy.  This time we have to take adoption classes--this can be done online.  Some of them have been okay.  Today's was quite informative.  

And then there were the others. 

Two of them, specifcally.  The one about health issues and the one about adoption loss made me and D respectively want to crawl under our beds. It was scary, reading about all the possible ways that our kid would be messed up.  Then to read the ways that they will handle their loss.  Hard hard stuff. 

I know adoption--hell I know parenting--is not unicorns farting rainbows.  I know this.  But sometimes I have to put the fear on the back burner and live my life, you know?  

When I'm driving a car, I can't think of all the ways that the other drivers can crash into me and kill me and the loved ones who are in my car.  If I do that I will be in a little ball and never get to where I'm going. 

So where are we going?  Good question.  We're not exactly sure.  We're still moving forward. A little more nervous, a little more knowledgable. 

Going forth in spite of the fear. 

Comments

[PinkDevora]

I know the feeling. Still have it sometimes. I watch our son and wonder what might happen in the future that we haven't found out yet. The social worker told me to stay off the Internet for now. Snortle.

I probably did the same training. I freaked out for a it, then tried to file it in the back of my head. At least you *know* and won't be caught by surprise as much....

Go forth! It's totally worth it.

[OmegaMom]

A lot of those classes show you the worst...these sorts of issues show up on a continuum. For instance, my dotter definitely has issues with abandonment. She cannot STAND to be left alone. It was difficult when she was a baby/toddler, because it manifested in extreme clinginess, and I am a person who needs alone time just as much as she needs the not-alone time. Personality clash! But she has adjusted and we have adjusted, and we dealt with it and deal with it now. But it doesn't define her, and doesn't define our relationship with her. Does that help any? Also, she had and has issues with sensory processing...we did a year of occupational therapy that helped a great deal (once a week visits), and then enrolled her in gymnastics. The end result is that we know she is a pill when she can't have her physical bouncing/thumping outlet, and she is now on the gymnastics team. Once again, we dealt with it and still deal with it, but it's not a definition of our girl.

I actually wanted to know when your DTC was? Are you getting any closer so you can see (vaguely, far off in the distance) referral coming?