My mother died the day after my last post.
It is so hard to write those words.
I can still hardly believe it.
There was the funeral, which was awful. The gravesite which was worse. My father crying in the limo home, "They put dirt on my wife!"
My aunt was bowed under the weight of losing her baby sister.
I am mving like I'm in a dream. Everyone tells me to take care of myself--but I don't know how.
I cry so quickly, so often. How is it that I have any tears left? I am so worried I'll lose my daughter, my husband, my father. I'd wrap them in bubble wrap if I could.
We had a small seder. Just my father, my husband, Lotus, and me. The words of praise to Gd felt like ash in my mouth. I am hardly keeping passover, just no pasta and no bread.
I am so drained.
Thoughts and prayers are appreciated.