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April 20, 2006



Wow. I cannot remember a time when a post touched me as much as this one does. And, I want to share this with you....I am fat. I have gained and lost so much weight that it is not funny. I have stretch marks that rival most women who have carried multiple pregnancies, but I have never given birth. My husband, who was overweight when we met, fell in love, and got married, lost over 90 pounds several years ago (and has maintained this loss through intense work outs and eating right....I live with a health nut). I now weigh more than him, even though he is a full foot taller than me.

All that being said, he still thinks that I am sexy, and tells me every day how beautiful I am. I have expereienced the same things that you have..the veiled comments, the invisibility, and the pain. But in the walls of our home, I feel nothing but peace. And, since Sofie has been home with us, I can only say that that feeling, and the feeling of love for my body has just grown. I love that my arms cuddle her just right, and that my soft belly and chest provide a place for her to snuggle in and rest her head. She often lifts my shirt to blow raspberries on my tummy (since I do this to her daily, it has become a game)..and she smiles and laughs.

I feel no shame in this, and know that being at peace with myself, even in the face the constant media blitz of "thin is perfect" and the unrealistic view of beauty in our *will* enable me to help my daughter come to terms with being different that the "norm" (whatever that is..right?). I love that you verbalized something that has been rolling around my head for some time. Thank you!




I'm really sorry you've encountered that meanness - You must have been crushed when hearing those women at work talking about you.


Thank you for writing this. I have had a post about my wieght rolling around inside my head for quite some time, but can't seem to get it out. I am fat too. Right now I am my heaviest weight ever. I need to lose 80 lbs. for the charts to even consider me "normal". And that would put me on the high end of the scale. The stress of the infertility and now the adoption has not helped the situation at all. And to make it even worse, I have an identical twin who weighs 60 lbs. less than I do. It's hard enough to compare my wieght to a complete stranger's, let alone someone who is supposed to look exactly like you! Anyway, thanks for posting this. It took a lot of courage. And good for you that your husband loves you as you are. Mine does too, and for that I am lucky.

Avonlea Spring

I understand your sense of invisibility, and I wish we all could refrain from judging people from the outside.

The people who laughed and said such hurful things - they're inmature and shallow. Personally, I'd rather be overweight than thin and so shallow and cruel.

I think what makes a person beautiful is being able to see the beauty in everyone.

I think you're beautiful too.




What an awesome post. Thanks for letting us read this; I'll bet it was hard to write, but you felt great afterward.

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