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« D. T. C. | Main | Why China »

September 20, 2006

Comments

Lu

Huggles sweetie!!! You know I'll be there for you. I just hope my ramblings and babblings don't drive you too crazy.

:)

Naomi

One of my favorite episodes! Absolutely the truth. Even if I could go back and change things, making the process easier may have made the load lighter to bear, but would have changed things somehow.

And as an adoptive parent, I really must tell you this - I do not understand when other adoptive parents (or those who were finally successful in fertility treatments) say that having a baby erases everything. It didn't do that for me - but it made everything clear. *This* is what I worked so hard for. *This* amazing girl is what I was crying for, and waiting so long for - and it was worth it. The memory of the journey isn't gone, and the horrible feelings that came before are not forgotten, but now more than ever I truly understand that every minute and ounce of strength was really, truly, worth it. You're doing fine.

erinberry

That was a great post.

walternatives

Your child, I believe, will NOT be an eraser, but rather a new, rich palette of colors and hues that you have never imagined. We'll be "artists" in a whole new way, not erasing our pasts but drawing from it...

Jenny

I feel exactly the same way. I am offended when people say, I hope once you get your baby you will get over the whole infertility thing. I hate that.

I never want to forget as it is part of me. It changed me and While I won't think about it much once the baby is home, I never want to loose that feeling. It to me is important to remember.

Leggy

What a beautiful way to put it re: the tapestry. So very true.

Carrie

Very well said. I, too, struggle(d) with infertility, and it has "helped" me become the person that I am. Would I have ever seen the side of my husband that patiently trudged through the detritis of our losses, only to come out optimistic on the other side? Probably not. Ironically, the bad shit has helped the good stuff in our lives become more real, more appreciated. Just wish that there was an easier way to get there.

tshapedgirl

Great post- you made me pause and think. When I reflect back on my journey to parenthood, I do think that I wouldn't/couldn't change a thing. It was filled with much loss and sadness, but it changed me profoundly. And unfortunately I had to go down that path to get here.

I like to think of it as an old injury that has mostly healed. It can still ache some days and remind me of bad times, but also remind me that I'm lucky to have my daughter today.

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