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« Years of Infertility and adoption thoughts | Main | What bonds us »

December 05, 2006

Comments

shelly

Things are tough for us right now and I agree it's hard feeling like you're on the side lines watching everyone else spend carelessly.

Patti

Oh this topic is near and dear to my heart! Jason and I are middle class. We live in a ranch house. We haven't taken a vacation since infertility. We drive economy cars. We borrowed from my mother to finance our domestic adoption and scrimped and saved to finance the first chunk of our China adoption.

And yet I have peers in the adoption world who seem to have similar jobs but tons of disposable income. I don't get it, but I try not to "compare and despair." I'm happy with our lives. We save money by spending on things that we really want that will make us happy, not on toys that the ad agencies tell us we need.

Sometimes the parents in the DTC groups seem to be spending to ease the pain of waiting. It's their drug. I have my drugs - food, exercise - but spending isn't my habit of choice.

Aimee

I am completely with you! We are trying so hard to save, have zero plans for any kinds of vacations, and are not buying Christmas gifts for each other this year just to get more in that savings account. When we finally have the rest of the adoption costs saved up, we will have struggled to get there.

hallow

I am where you are. I don't make enough to save anything thanks to student loan payments, rent, cell phone, electricity, credit card, subway and food. I don't even have enough to put into a 401k or to save each month. I basically live paycheck to paycheck and have managed to use yearly bonus money, tax returns and holiday gift money to provide the much-needed supplement. And sure, every now and then (thanks to that supplement) I allow myself a new CD or DVD but I have been having to cut back A LOT since my student loan payments started coming. It's so ridiculous. Before those payments, I could've afforded to live on my own in a nice studio apartment. As it is now, even with my recent pay increase, I can barely afford to live in a 2-bed apt. with a roommate that is a 15 minute walk to the subway in QUEENS. LOL!

lisa

Though my husband and I paid off our credit card debt a few years ago, we still live for the most part under the pressure of 'you never know what will happen so don't spend spend spend'.

I see others on the boards, on vacation, literally every month. I think 2 things, how do they get that time off work and where does all that money come from?

Our ability to pay for the adoption comes from our refund on taxes every year and recently selling our house and taking out some of the equity before we closed on the new home. The rising home markets are part of that equation.

I worry though, my husband wants to stay home for at least a year when our daughter comes home, but I just don't see how we can swing it. Sure, the extended wait means we can save more, but we rely on his job for no car payment for him (company car), medical benefits, we pay little on it, etc.

Tera

Hi there. :) We are definately lower middle class.

This is how we save money: My husband has it set up so that $50 per check is automatically deposited into a savings account. It is not a large amount, but if the money is automatically put into the account, it is easier for us to just "forget" about that money. We use that fund for emergencies and such. For long term savings, my husband has a retirement plan through his place of employment.

This is how we are paying for our adoption (Guatemala): 1/3 of the money is coming from a gift from the pastor who married us and from the church that we used to attend. 1/3 is coming from a home equity line of credit. 1/3 is also coming from our home equity line of credit, but that will be repaid with the $10000 adoption tax benefit. All of the misc. adoption expenses, travel and visit trips will be paid using cash, our home equity line of credit and (alas) a credit card.

It is HARD to save. God bless.

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