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March 27, 2007



Beautiful post and great idea to start writing letters now.


Mrs. Vandertramp

Can I borrow your words? You found all the right ones.


I don't think you have to have that talk with your daughter until it is necessary...and then, you just sit her down and say "honey, there are people in this world that were not taught right from wrong, and there are people who know right from wrong but who will choose wrong because they are ignorant or because that is all they know. And there are kids who will say hurtful things because they are immature or because they were not taught the proper way to behave. But know, sweet daughter, that there are also people in this world like mommy and daddy, people who know how to act, people who know the truth -- that you are our daughter no matter what and that no matter what your eyes or your skin looks like, you are the same, you are a person. And those kids who are mean...they're going to grow up, and some will change for the better and some won't."

And I think that thing about walking the line is a good one. You (the collective you) have to teach your child to be the bigger person, because someone has to, and they (the collective they) will learn that it is a hard road to travel but that they have people in their life who will be there for them when it gets hard or painful. People who love them and cherish them. Your daughter will be lucky to have you. Right now I picture her as the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, running around looking at her stopwatch yelling "I'm late, I'm late for a very important date!" Once you finally meet her, she is going to send you down that rabbit hole, and it will be a crazy adventure for you all...but it will also be a great adventure, a wonderland, and this one won't be a dream like in the book. *snuggle*

Stone Girl

I will optimistically hope you don't have to deliver this letter.
If I can add a perspective - because I am half-Chinese and half-Caucasian, people may have been surprised to see my mother (Caucasian) when I was young. I lived in a farming community - so the populance was mostly Caucasian and Hispanic. There were two other Chinese kids in my elementary school. But I was rarely picked on by other kids. I was not held up to unfair stereotypes by my awesome teachers. And there are many places I feel comfortable living in this country. And honestly, in grade school - I WAS one of the kids singing ching-chong...I had no idea it applied to me, or that it was making fun of anything. I was just a kid, and my friends were not being mean. Sure, some kids teased me - but kids will find any reason to tease each other. I grew up in California, but I once dated a guy (Chinese) from Pennsylvania who had a horrible childhood and a huge chip on his shoulder, so maybe it depends where you grow up. Sorry for the long comment. I just wanted to share some positive experience.

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