I did try.
Today is my father's 80th birthday and I tried to make a list about thirteen of his best qualities, but I just can't do that. He's so much more than that.
I can't show you how he'll take my goddaughter on his lap and ask her for three kisses...then he'll count them off "one, one, one," and she giggles and it's the cutest thing.
I can tell you how he made me learn how to drive in New York city four days after hearing me declare that I never would. He got in the passenger side and would not budge untl I got in and drove us home, but it doesn't explain how much I needed that even though I didn't like my dad so much at that moment.
I can't begin to describe watching him and my mom. They've been married for almost 58 years and his face still lights up when she walks into a room. He'll take her hand and say "love it" so often. If I find half their joy in my own marriage I'll have a blissful life.
I could tell about the times he would correct a restaurant tab when they made an error in his favor. The wait staff are always surprised and he is always surprised that they are surprised. He has taught me it is the worst thing to go to a restaurant and leave knowing that the wait staff made an error and you profited by it.
I could tell about how at 79 he gave his seat to an elderly lady because that's what his mother taught him to do.
I can describe his sense of humor, he loves to pun. We can go for hours punning about cows (udderly ridiculous) until my mother is ready to throw things at us.
I can describe how he has a quick wit. I was born when Dad was 43, so often people would mistake him for my grandfather. It would get him angry. One time a flight attendant asked dad "and what will your granddaughter like," and dad said--grinning his head off--"She's not my granddaughter, but don't tell my wife."
He's getting shorter, he was a giant when I was little with a huge round tummy. He's getting thinner, he's getting older. I'm more care-ful of him than I once was, and it scares me sometimes because I cannot picture a world without my father in it.
I'm his pride and joy. He tells me that, he shows me that. I take him for lunch often, sometimes leaving D and mom home so I can be with my dad.
Because he doesn't always demand respect, everyone around him demands it for him. No one raises their voice to my father...well except when he's acting like an idiot which he doesn't do very often, and then just mom.
Dad's quiet, "I'm disappointed in you." cut quicker than an hour of mom yelling at me.
I'm 36 years old and one of my "safe spaces" is leaning my head on my dad's shoulder.
Is that thirteen? I don't really know, but I do know this. My father is one of the hidden kings of the world, and the world sometimes rests on his shoulders.
If you know your bible, you know that when Gd decided to demolish Sodom and Gomorrah he spoke with Abraham. Abraham asked Gd if Gd would destroy the good along with the wicked. Abraham asked what if there were 50 good people in the towns. Gd said that he/she would not destroy it if there were 50 good people. Abraham then asks, what about 40? And then down to ten. Gd said that the towns would not be destroyed if there were 10 righteous people there.
From that time to this, the fate of the world has rested on the shoulders of 10 righteous people. We know that there are at least 10 righteous people in the world(in hebrew the word is tzaddikim)--and I am honored to say that my father is one of them.
Happy birthday Papa,
I am honored to be the daughter of a righteous man.