My heart is heavy.
My mom has been hospitalized with a massive infection. They say she'll be okay, but she's almost 80, and well, I'm scared. You'll pardon my departure if I say why I think my mom's such a special lady--besides the fact that she's my mother. I apologize in advance if I don't visit all your TT's today.... my web surfing is curtailed with contacting family to help and sleeping and visiting. I ask for prayers or good thoughts or whatever for this wonderful lady I call Mom.
My mother and father recently celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary. My mom says one of the reasons for the longevity of their marriage is that when Dad comes home she drops everything and comes to hug him. Same if she comes home and Dad's home waiting. When I said how unfeminist this was, mom asked "What is more feminist than welcoming your life partner home at the end of the day?" I had no answer. I do this too with my husband.
My mom went to college at a time when most women wanted a Mrs degree. My mom got a degree in International Finance (Then called World Trade). She was the second woman in the history of the school to get the degree.
When Mom was in college she met my dad. Dad soon took to picking her up after tests because she was a curve buster and the guys in the class didn't like being shown up by some "girl".
Mom has a huge pocketbook. We dubbed it Fort Knox.
For her 70th birthday, Mom climbed the Great Wall of China.
When I was in 5th grade the teachers in my school went on strike. Parents in our school district were told to bring their kids to school anyway to be left with subs and stuff. Mom thought that the teachers were right to strike, and so she kept me out of school and for the 2 months that the strike was on she took me all over New York City. Metropolitan Museum of Art, Museum of Natural History, United Nations, everywhere. I learned about art, music and history. I also learned that just because people in authority tell you to do something sometimes you say no.
My mother taught me about mitzvot. Good deeds that Jews are required to do. She taught me by doing. I'd come home and see her cooking or baking something and doubling the recipie. I soon learned that she was cooking for someone's freezer so they didn't have to if they were sick, or bereaved.
My mom and I butt heads. A LOT. We are both stubborn and certain we're always right. A friend in high school told me that I was just like my mom. I didn't talk to him for a week. Now I realize he was right. I am a lot like my mom, but where we are different we are VERY different.
Yet, mom can change. When we started our adoption from China she wasn't too thrilled about it. She wasn't sure she'd be able to handle an Asian child calling her Grandma. But when we made the decision she said "All right, just tell me when and we're going to China with you." "You are?" I asked. "Of course," came the reply. "I'm going to pick up my granddaughter." She's learning.
When my oldest sister was born mom quit working. When my brother went to kindergarten she told my father she was going to get her accounting degree. (This is before I came along.) My dad, for the first , and as far as I know, only time in their marriage patronized her. She went to school and got her accounting degree. At school she met a woman whose husband was also an accountant and thought it was "cute" that his wife was going to school. They went into business together. In their third year of business, my mom out earned my dad.
I was a surprise baby. Mom thought that she was skipping periods because she was mourning the death of her father. Then she thought it was early menopause. By the time she saw the doctor and he told her that in five months she'd be a mom again, she was stunned. She kept working after I was born though, she thought it important that I see her work. It was.
Is that thirteen? I don't know.
I know that sometime this week when I was visiting mom in the hospital, taking care of dad, etc. Mom asked me, "Who taught you to do all this?" I looked at her and said, "You did."
This is very precious--you should be sure all your family reads it. Make copies for people who love her--and you! I'll pray for your family.
Posted by: Judy | October 17, 2007 at 06:03 PM
Sweet , blessings on you and your mom...
Posted by: ellen b | October 17, 2007 at 06:37 PM
I have been praying(hard) since your first post and will continue to do so until I read the post where you tell us that she is home and well. And she will be. She sounds like a very strong woman.
Posted by: Michelle | October 17, 2007 at 08:05 PM
I wrote up something similar about my grandmother's life and presented it at her church for Mother's Day one year. I hadn't wanted to do it, because I'm not a good public speaker, but it was one of the best things I've ever done. She was so touched, and a written copy was among her things when she passed a few years later. Be sure to give yours to your mom and make copies for everyone. I'm praying for her, and for your whole family.
Posted by: Laura in L.A. | October 17, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Wow, what a wonderful picture of your mother. She must have a powerful impact on your life and the lives of others. Thank you for sharing all of that during this struggle.
All the best to you from a stranger. May your mother be given the best treatment and the most peace and comfort.
Posted by: Julia | October 17, 2007 at 09:00 PM
That is a lovely portrait of your mom -- and please know that many are thinking of you and your family and hoping for your mom's quick recovery! Keep strong and positive thoughts and remember to take care of yourself!
Posted by: Lara | October 17, 2007 at 09:42 PM
That was beautiful. Do keep it, and print out a copy for your mom.
I'm keeping her in my thoughts.
Posted by: OmegaMom | October 17, 2007 at 09:48 PM
Hi..this is a very sweet list..really touched my heart..thanks for sharing..
Posted by: Wolfie | October 18, 2007 at 12:01 AM
What a fantastic tribute to your mom. She sounds like a fantastic woman and here is hoping for a quick recovery.
Posted by: mom not mum | October 18, 2007 at 01:53 AM
This is a wonderful tribute to your mom she sounds like a great mother your family is in my thoughts
Posted by: Rae | October 18, 2007 at 07:57 AM
Awwww, my mom died aged 56, when I was just 32, yours sounds like one amazing lady!
Posted by: zoe | October 18, 2007 at 09:19 AM
She sounds like a truly wonderful, inspirational lady. How blessed you are to have such a great mum, and how blessed your mum is that she has a daughter who recognizes it. My very best wishes for her swift recovery!
Posted by: amypalko | October 18, 2007 at 11:00 AM
My parents are old too, so I know how it is when they get sick. It's tough. *hugs* I'll keep your mom and you on my thoughts. I hope she gets well soon.
Posted by: Tempest Knight | October 18, 2007 at 11:11 AM
I hope you get some comfort
Posted by: marcia | October 18, 2007 at 05:04 PM
I SO know what you're going through. But then you know that too :) Both of our moms rock, and its so hard to see them suffer. Thanks for your comment on my blog, I really appreciate it!
Posted by: Karen | October 21, 2007 at 09:49 AM