Our Family

So a friend of mine and her husband did formal portraits to give to their family and friends for Christmas.  She and her husband.  They have no kids. 

I thought about this as an idea and dismissed it.  I mean these photos are for people with kids.  And then you get the professional photos of the kids.  We're going to get our kids eventually...right?  I mean there's no reason to do this.  No one wants to see just us.  Right?

Right?

And then, in my head I got angry. 

Why should I be made to feel like I am not good enough to get a professional portrait done for me and my husband?  Because we're somehow not a family yet?

That's more Bullshit.

I've decided that D and I are enough family that we can sit for portraits.  We're enough that we deserve to have a portrait of the two of us that doesn't involve me in a white dress. 

It's been thirteen years since our wedding.  Eight of them trying everything imaginable to have a "family."

Fuck it. 

We are a family now.  I have a right to place our faces on the wall next to the faces of the people who have kids.  I have a responsibility to remind people that families come of many sizes--including couples. 

To the people who read this and know me, sorry, you know what you're getting this year. You're getting a picture of our family. 

To the people who, whether they are single, without kids, or for whatever reason think that they don't have a family--I welcome your pictures. 

Comments

[T.S.]

You are an amazing and wonderful family and any additions to your clan will just be happy, wonderful bonuses.

[August]

Right on!

[Michelle]

Girl, are you reading my thoughts? I swear, I had the exact same conversation with my husband last week.

We both bought new holiday outfits and we're having my sister take our pictures with her fancy schmancy camera over Thanksgiving.

We've been together 20 years and I'm sick to death of waiting to have a child so we can become a family.

We're a family now, dammit!

The dog is gonna be in the photo too :)

[globalgal]

Not even sure how I got to your blog! But I just had to comment on this post. You are, indeed, already a family. I'm married without kids as well and people are always euphemistically asking me, "When are you going to start a family?" I always reply that I did so seven years ago and any additions will be welcomed in time.

:) off to read more of your blog!

[Delenn]

Coming from the book tour--reading your posts--

I totally agree with you about getting a portrait done. Families do come in many sizes--why not yours?

[loribeth]

Also here from the book tour & totally agreeing with you! I have made a point of hauling dh into the photo studio every few years to get a nice picture taken of the two of us, & I will often use it for our Christmas card. I don't mind getting photos of my friends' kids -- but I sometimes wish they'd take one of the whole family, so that I could see them once in awhile too. After all, THEY're my friends, not the kids!