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March 09, 2009



I'm sorry. The wait sucks, and having it stretch out like this *really* sucks.


As you are well aware, I have too have been in the middle of the suck. It is lasting a long time this time. I have even lost several readers because of it. I just can't seem to pull myself out of it and after another weekend of laying in bed crying last weekend, Joe is starting to worry.

As well he should.

I am so sorry you are having a rough time too. I wish we lived closer. We could have a rough time together. I have been thinking about you. I hope we can still meet up in April. I am really looking forward to it.


We have talked about adoption too, but we never know if the time would be right. Right now is bad, but we might have to wait 5 years and who knows what that time will be like. It's scary and frustrating and generally sucky.

I am proud of you for sticking it out and tackling the process.

And it is totally okay to be selfish in this. Adoption is pretty damn selfless 99% of the time. You are entitled to that 1%.


I think you feel about a child how I feel about a husband right now. I truly feel for what you and D are going through with all of this and I really hope the universe pulls its head out of its ass soon and gives you two the child you deserve (a child who deserves to be given the huge amount of love that you two are willing and ready to give).

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