I collect proposal stories. I love listening to them. No matter how mundane (people think) they are, I find them fascinating.
One of the ones I always loved was T's. He was one of the best men at our wedding. He met his wife and her son (that he would later adopt) and just knew. He was totally gone. Three weeks after we met her he started putting money down on a ring for her. He had finally paid it off and was trying to think of the best possible way to ask her. What would be the most romantic? What would she like the most.
However she was going through stuff too. She found out that she was pregnant with T's child. The last time she got pregnant her then boyfriend beat her and walked out on her. She was so terrified that he would be tied to her and not want to be.
Anyway they ate dinner at her apartment and she started to cry. Sobbing she told him that she was pregnant. His face broke out in a grin and he ran to his knapsack and pulled out the engagement ring. "I have been trying to think of how to ask you to honor me and become my wife. I've had this for weeks. I don't care if we have one kid or a dozen, as long as you're with me." The ring was engraved.
She said she would always love him for that, because she never wondered for a minute if he asked her to marry him because she was pregnant.
Due to her easy fertility we kind of drifted apart from this couple. We just got back in touch. T told D that she had left. Today their divorce was final.
This sure as hell wasn't the way he thought it would happen. I can relate.
I get annoyed when people tell me that my fertility plans are Gd's plans, not mine. I get very annoyed. And T, he gets livid when people say that Gd had something to do with the breakup of their marriage. While I believe in Gd, I don't have enough chutzpah to think he plans his day around what I'm doing. However, as I'm on this road--and I think of T on his road, I hope that the sappy footprints essay is true. It would be nice if I thought that I was being carried.
Thanks for the comment on my blog. I'm sorry to hear about your friends marriage.
I think for the most part things happen for a reason, but I can't say they're all God's doing. I guess it's just my way of making peace with the the things I can't control.
Best wishes with your adoption journey.
Posted by: Melissa G | October 19, 2009 at 02:24 PM