Wind to thy wings

It has been a bit.  First I burned my hand, then I had tooth issues--I had the worst root canal I ever had.  

I thought I was having a bad bad week.

Then yesterday happened.  I found out that a high school friend had passed away. 

Passed away.  You know, those words suck.  It's so mild.  It's so fucking tepid.  I want to rage that the world can go on turning without him in it--except the person I'm raging at--is me.  

I'd be lying if I said I was close to him.  I wasn't.  Either in High School or now.  I hadn't spoken to him in years.  But I remember this artistic boy as kind.  He invited me to the first (and one of the best) bar mitzvah's I attended--even though we weren't friends.  He would talk to me when the rest of my friends wouldn't.  "They all think I'm weird anyway." he'd say and sit at my lonely lunch table. 

It's been over 20 years since I saw him and I grieve his death.  More because my dear friend doll was a close friend.  And blames himself for his death.  

I'm angry at myself for not giving him a thought.  I wish I had been able to reach out to him.  Maybe it would have helped.  

Wind to thy wings.  I hope you have peace now. 

Comments

[Elyssa]

So sorry to hear about your friend's death. Most anything anyone could say would be kinda crappy, so I'll stick with the least crappy thing I know to say: May his memory always be a blessing.