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June 03, 2010



Hi- I'm new here via Thurs 13. Your ethics are high and set a fine standard for your niece, who knows, in her heart, that she needs to do that project now (or rather "yesterday.") You feel awful because you love her. That happens to us parents, too. When we can't be the "friend" or "cool" and have to be the sensible one or put our foot down, that tough love is visceral. I hope your niece stops procrastinating about this important issue. It's out of your hands now.


It takes great strength and courage to stand beside your values and convictions. I applaud you for doing what you felt was the best thing to do, and also, just as importantly for feeling how you do.

It's strength with a side of humanity that makes what you did a truly solid thing.

That IS part of being a parent and deeply caring for another person.


Not wrong. If you love her so much this is the right thing. Life is full of consequences and at 22 it is important to learn you have to work at things to completion.

You are her aunt and you have the right to be an influence and be disappointed and feel guilty, that shows the power of your love for her.


If she did do the thing now, you would still put her in for the job? But wouldn't that mean that she is the kind of employee that doesn't finish tasks until the consequences become horrifying? My feeling is that you have to ask yourself, on the whole, is she going to be a good (not perfect, but good) employee. If yes, then recommend her. If no, then don't. That is a separate issue from any one specific item that she hasn't finished yet.

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