Journeywoman

Getting it all out.

It's been nearly a month and I'm just now starting to calm down.

The worst week of my life.

It started the Sunday that my dad was rushed to the hospital with a horrific virus that made his blood pressure drop so low they nearly lost him.

It continued Monday when  D's blood sugar went so high I had to rush him to the hospital.

But it was nothing compared to Thursday.

D had to switch from his pump to syringes and back again due to an insurance snafu. But things seemed to be okay.  Thursday night, actually early Friday morning D's  CGM (continuous glucose monitor) beeped. By the way it was beeping I knew he was low. I woke him up. He had glucose and juice said he was fine and went back to sleep.  I went to sleep too. I woke up and the bed was shaking. He was seizing. 

I run and grab the glucagon (a shot that I'm supposed to use in times like this) but I totally flip out and can't figure out how much to give him. That's the part that I'm still having nightmares about, I am staring at this shot that I've prepared and I don't remember how much to give him.  I call 911. I am (once more) this insane lady screaming into the phone.

"Help me, he's seizing! PLEASE! PLEASE! COME QUICK!" It took about six minutes for the ambulance to come. A very very long six minutes. While we're waiting, He's having these moments of lucidity where he speaks but he isn't really there.  I want to rip out the cannula for his pump but he says no. I hand him Pepsi but he is just staring at it and can't drink.  The worst (for me) was when he was still seizing but his eyes were open and tracking me--but I couldn't help him.  I'm going to have that image in my head for a long time

When the EMTs come they give him 2 full tubes of glucose gel--and he's still only 40 (Normal blood sugar is 100 +/- 20) They give him IV glucose and that works.He doesn't need to go to the hospital.

The next week a random happenstance (trying still to maintain my blog anonymity so I can't go into it) leads to a cut in my leg. It gets infected and I'm on crutches for 2 weeks. 

We've been really getting hit with the shit stick. 

To add to this, I've been having chest pains. The doctor thinks it is stress but I'm wearing a 24 hr holter and will be doing a stress test.  Since I'm just off the crutches I have to have the stress test done medically instead of physically.  I just hope things are okay in there. 

 

 

Thirteen MORE women who made a difference without being a mom.

Yes. It's that time. 

My week did not get better, and my month got worse. That being said I'm hoping May will be better.  While my life has been too crazy to even think much about Mother's day this year, I'm sure Sunday it will hit me like a huge ass hammer. 

So. Again. Here are Thirteen women who have made a difference without being a mom. 

1) Kate Walsh

2) Drew Barrymore

3) Lucy Liu

4) Cameron Diaz

That's right--none of the Angels in the movie Charlie's Angels have had kids. 

5)Joan Jett

6) Mary Eliza Mahoney --She was the first African-American woman to be professionally trained and to work as a nurse.

7) Stevie Nicks

8)Eva Mendes  She has my favorite line. "I love the little suckers but I love sleep so much."

9) Iris Murdoch

10) Kim Cattrall

11) Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love)

12) Ellen DeGeneres

13) Anna Jarvis Don't know who she is?  She's the woman who founded Mother's Day in the United States. She did not become a mother herself. She founded it because she so admired her own mother that she thought there should be a day to honor them. Hallmark should probably build a shrine to her.

As in years past, here is my mother's day wish

For the mothers, I wish you a happy mothers day. 
For those who have lost their mothers--I wish you comfort
For those who are hoping to become mothers--I wish you luck and speed on your journey
For those who are childless (not by choice)-- I wish you comfort and the knowledge you are not alone.
For those who are childfree by choice--You Go Girls! You made a decision to swim against the stream--go you!

I end this with a hope. 
That next mother's day will have all the women who want to be mothers--as mothers. 
That all mothers will hold their children tightly. 
That all adult children will reconcile with their mothers if it is possible and comfortable to do so.
That all child-free women are made to feel empowered instead of ashamed. 
And that the great mother of us all will grant us all peace.

"There are no great things, only small things with great love"--Mother Teresa (another woman who was never a mom!)