I hate Mothers day.
I have hated it for several years. If you don't love your mother enough to tell her how much--and often then why do this day.
It has beent the most direct and visible symbol of my infertility. My inability to be a "full functioning woman" in the eyes of society.
And then there is this post.
Our bags are almost packed to pick up a little girl who does not know we're coming. Our arms--aching for years to close around a child who would call me 'Mommy' and D 'Daddy' will soon be filled with (what reports say) approximately 22 lbs of screaming one-year-old.
And I can't wait.
And yet I'm having hourly panic attacks. The cruel words of "friends" saying "If Gd wanted you to be a mother he would have made you one." "There's something inherently wrong with you because you can't carry to term--Gd always knows best." echo in my mind and make my heart ache. I hopeI will be a good mother. I hope this next step of the Journey will be all right.
I won't be blogging in China--but I'll try to get a post up when I get home.
See you on the flip side.
I end with my traditional mother's day wish.
For the mothers, I wish you a happy mothers day.
For those who have lost their mothers--I wish you comfort.
For those who are hoping to become mothers--I wish you luck and speed on your journey.
For those who are childless (not by choice)-- I wish you comfort and the knowledge you are not alone.
For those who are childfree by choice--You Go Girls! You made a decision to swim against the stream--go you!
I end this with a hope.
That next mother's day will have all the women who want to be mothers--as mothers.
That all mothers will hold their children tightly.
That all adult children will reconcile with their mothers if it is possible and comfortable to do so.
That all child-free women are made to feel empowered instead of ashamed.
And that the great mother of us all will grant us all peace.
"There are no great things, only small things with great love"--Mother Teresa (another woman who was never a mom!)