In all of this I didn't get to gush. For those reading this who are still in a bad IF place--go. Find something wonderful and healing and fun to do. This is not the right post for you. Read further at your own risk.
I made the decision. I'm going to call our little girl Lotus, here on the blog. She's beautiful and the flower of our lives.
Here are some memories of the first few months---so you can see her as I do.
1) Lotus was VERY well cared for in the orphanage. We visited and saw how much they loved her. One of the aunties loved her enormously. She was nursed. We were changing into our bathing suits at the hotel--and she saw my bare breasts for the first time. She smiled, grabbed one and latched on. OW. I had made the decision not to do adoptive breastfeeding, and most of the time I'm not sorry I did. However when I had to detach my baby's mouth from my breast, after the relief, I felt bad that I couldn't comfort her in that way.
2) At the orphanage we saw that they shared the space near an old age home. We later found out that every week they would bring the elderly folks in to play with the kids. I think this is an idea some nursery schools/daycares in the states might embrace. I was fortunate how well she took to us, but it amazed me how quickly she took to my parents and D's parents. We believe the early exposure to the elderly helped this along.
3) Regarding D's parents--especially his father. D's father is totally enamored of his granddaughter. This is at odds with the staid, straight-laced person we've always known. Then D quotes Bill Cosby. "These are not the people who raised you, these are old people who are trying to get into heaven."
4) Lotus LOVES her veggies. She is one of the few people who I believe might be a born vegetarian. It is not easy to get her to get her to eat meat. So we've been giving her hummus and a lot of beans. This leads to the predictable result. However her baby farts are just so cute! We were in an elevator at the library and she farted and the two other people in the elevator said, "Awwwww."
5) I watched how most people adopting from China wound up co-sleeping so they could get any. We are one of them. What happens is we rock Lotus to sleep. (We are not Ferbering.) Or rather, I rock her to sleep. Then D takes her and puts her in her crib. Sometime around 2 or 3, Lotus cries and one of us takes her and brings her into our bed where she often sleeps until 8:30 am or until we wake her up for daycare.
I love being a mom very much. More important, I love being Lotus' mom.
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